day 1?

i really hate myself for this and it's super embarrassing but yes, i'm starting over. last week was horrible. i wanted to be 130 by friday and last night i was still 133. ughhh!

i have no idea why i'm upset. i know exactly what my problems are so it's my own damn fault. i literally worked out once. and my biggest issue is my night time binges. half the time when i do those i'm not even hungry. sometimes i am. but usually i'm not. i come home from work and watch tv and everyone know watching tv can cause mindless binging lol.

this week is going to be different. today while i'm at work i'm going to perfect my work out plan and i also remembered something i read a long time ago on another blog or something. every week i'm going to make a list of 50 things that i need to do that week. they can be chores or just anything really to keep me busy like doing my nails or something. these are going to be my distractions for the week. so hopefully when i come home and turn on the tv and i feel like eating, i can find something to do on my list instead. i think i'm going to have a punishment if i don't complete my list. i'm just not sure what it is yet. any suggestions?

i also have another idea. since hot foods like soup and stuff are supposed to expand in your stomach and make you fuller, i wonder if i had a cup of soup every night before i came home from work i'd stop binging afterwards. i can never just come home from work and go straight to bed cuz i always need some time to unwind or else i would and wouldn't have to worry about my late night munchies problem lol. but maybe some soup will keep me full. i'm gonna try it tonight and if it works, i think i'm gonna look up some good recipes for vegetable or cabbage soup and make a huge batch and freeze it so it lasts a while and then do that every night.

DAMAGE
b: coffee - 45
l: nothing - 0
s: pudding - 70
jell-o - 10
lima beans -160
d: fat free cream of mushroom soup -175
TOTAL 275/460

i feel really good about this plan. i know i've said that before haha. MANY times. but i'm really excited. so today while at work i'm going to figure out a super good work out plan and make my list. i was debating on whether or not i should post my list. i feel like it would be more affective and motivating to me if everyone else saw it and was holding me accountable for it. haha whether anyone reads it or not. but rather than posting the full list every sunday, i think i'll divide it up into what i want to get done each day. so this week it's only going to be 6 days but every week after will be 7. so this week i'll have roughly 8 things to do a day.

well anyways i need to go shower and get ready for work. i'll update later

10:33
yay i get to go home in 27 minutes! not that i'm counting down or anything haha. so i've been drinking water and i'm not hungry at all. i was planning on having my soup right before i go home but my stomach honestly hurts from probably drinking so much water and i really don't want to eat. i dont think i' going to worry about any binging tonight. i'm tired. and i haven't finished my list yet so i'll probably go straight to my room when i get home and finish that and then go to bed.